If you’re feeling less than satisfied with the intimacy in your marriage then start asking yourself conscious questions. Without questioning life tends to lead us around by the nose.

Are You Living Apart Together?

If the answer is yes, then ask yourself: “What can I deal in this moment to create more intimacy in my marriage?”

Don’t Wait

Ask Questions – Be Conscious – Take Action – Feel Satisfied Today

Photo:DAVIDGRAU

Have you ever had an argument with someone and then tried to find the perfect gift to smooth things over? On the flip side, have you ever received a gift from someone who was trying to make up with you?

Did it make you want to forgive and forget immediately?

While gifts are fun to give and receive, most people experience that they don’t have much power to change the inner dynamics of a relationship. But there is one truly remarkable gift that, if given, can start to improve your relationship immediately.

A Gift Unlike All Others

Yes that’s right, we’re talking about a gift that can start improve your relationship immediately. What if we told you that this gift had the power to really affect how you relate to another person? Guess what? There really is such a gift — the gift of presence!

Now, we’re not talking about “presents,” the kind you give for Christmas or birthdays; the presence that we mean is your personal presence—your full attention with an agenda-free willingness to listen to what the other person has to say. Presence is a gift we could all use on a regular basis.

“If you want to be listened to, you should put in time listening.” – Marge Piercy

~How to Present Your Presence~

Before you can truly give someone your presence, you need to take yourself out of the equation. Giving the gift of presence means that you’re there for the other person 100%, without thinking about how their words or actions affect you. In other words, when they start to talk about their perception of the situation, you can’t take things personally.

It helps to remember that everything everyone does or says is in support of something they value. If you choose to give the gift of your presence and in the middle of it you start feeling upset, try to imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself the question, “What could I be valuing that would have me say or do this?”

As an example, let’s say you ask your relationship partner to tell you what they would like to have in their relationship with you. You ask, “What kinds of things are important to you?” In response, you might hear something like, “You need to stop acting like such a know-it-all.”

At this point STOP — remember that what they just said is NOT about you and don’t take it personally.

Believe it or not, your partner just gave you a precious gift wrapped up inside the message, “I want you to stop being such a know-it-all.” This message is the key to unlocking a value that is incredibly important to them.

Now you can ask yourself, “I wonder what they value that’s missing for them in our relationship?” Doing so allows you to be present to the meaning that is underneath their words. This allows you the opportunity to try and understand what value might prompt them to say such a thing.

For example , you might guess that they value acknowledgment and want some appreciation for all the things they know, or maybe they just want the opportunity to contribute more to the relationship. It’s even possible that all they really want is a deeper sense of connection with you. Of course, you won’t know if your guess is accurate without checking with them first, so take this opportunity to ask them!

If nothing you suggest strikes a chord for your partner, ask them for help in understanding the value beneath the message. The worst thing that could happen is for them to respond with another judgment or criticism, which will give you another opportunity to identify what it is that they really want. If you guess accurately the first time, continue exploring the things that are most important to them.

“The beginning of wisdom is silence. The second step is listening.” ~Anonymous

You’ve probably heard the old Navaho Indian saying:  “The best way to get to know a person is to walk a mile in their moccasins.”

As a general rule, people tend to walk about 2 1/2 miles per hour, so it takes around 24 minutes to walk a mile. Try giving your partner your undivided presence for a half an hour.

During this time spend ZERO minutes defending yourself, being right, educating them, giving them advice, or anything else other than focusing all your attention on the things that they value — the things that are important to them. Once you can identify the values that drive their actions, you’ll find it much easier to understand the reasons behind their words.

The best thing about this special gift is that it doesn’t cost a thing and you have a limitless supply. Start giving the gift of presence and see how much you get in return.

If it’s time for you to start giving the gift of presence or you’d like to uncover additional self-help techniques that support healthy, happy relationships then it’s time for you to sign up for our free thought-provoking and motivational Weekly Action Tips email series at: http://www.FocusedAttention.com

Each tip offers practical advice for creating success and happiness in your relationships and in your life.

Or visit us at: http://www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com

Enjoy!

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. - Voltaire

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. - Franklin P. Jones

Loving is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold. – Zelda Fitzgerald

Related articles:

• Intimacy in a Caregiving Marriage (caregiving.com)
• 10 Bad Habits That Could Ruin Your Marriage (lifescript.com)
• Love IS Having to Say You’re Sorry (psychologytoday.com)
• Q&A – Should I Stay Married for the Sake of the Children? (lifescript.com)

To start your week right, we would like to share a few famous love quotes for you and your loved one.  We hope that these quotes will help revitalize your marriage intimacy.

We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
~Euripides

Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.
~ Barbara de Angelis

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
~Gilbert Keith Chesterton

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
~Victor Hugo

We hope that this\picture inspire you to strengthen the love in your marriage.

Find Intimacy For Your Marriage
By Donald Francis

It is critical you know which stage you are in before you begin making changes to your marriage. It is entirely possible to do the right thing at the wrong time and cause more problems. You need to know exactly which stage of crisis you are facing. Only then, can you begin the healing process. Otherwise, it is probable you will inflict further damage on your marriage.

At this point, the path of the relationship can become unpredictable. A marriage can fall apart in a million ways. But, the path back is predictable. A marriage only recovers in one, predictable way. There is only one path back. The specific steps on that path may vary (depending on the stage) but the “way back” is the same.

Imagine a map on a trip. You may start from different places, different distances, but you are still going to take the roads that lead to the Interstate that leads to your destination. You only need to know the path from where you are.

I have retraced the path back from the verge of destruction, all of the way to find intimacy in a marriage. You can’t just take the relationship back to “where it used to be.” Couples cannot simply get back to where they were when the marriage got in trouble. The marriage always had the beginnings of a crisis. Instead, it needs to get to a place where the marriage is insulated against any future crisis. Achieving an “average” marriage isn’t enough, you want and need an exceptional marriage!

It’s not enough to avoid divorce. Who wants to be in a “mediocre” marriage relationship? Most couples believe that their marital problems mean that they are destined to, at best, have an “okay” marriage. This could not be further from the truth. You don’t have to settle for anything less than the marriage relationship of your dreams!

Most “guides” are written by ghost writers that are hiding behind a pretty picture. And, the guides written by actual professionals are, for the most part, based on tired, old and ineffective “traditional” theories of counselling that only achieve 20% effectiveness, when used in person, in a therapist’s office! Find a way to make your marriage work by Contacting a real life marriage professional to save your marriage. Find intimacy for your marriage!

My goal is to save as many marriages as possible.

Donald Francis, is unique for his effective approach to saving marriages. Marriage economist and Author of several books on marriage and relationships, he has taking the marriage saving campaign to the internet through: http://marriagecounseling-expert.blogspot.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Donald_Francis
http://EzineArticles.com/?Find-Intimacy-For-Your-Marriage&id=3479088

Blocks to Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

Jim Burns, President of HomeWord, discusses blocks to sexual intimacy in marriage.

Here’s a video on how to handle marital problems.  Enjoy!

ErieKIDS – Trouble in Paradise, Marriage Problems

www.ErieKIDS.org What happens when you’ve tried marriage counseling, succeeded, only later to find that your spouse gets back to the same old problems?

Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this. – Stephen Packer

Marriage is not a ritual or an end.  It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner. – Amy Bloom

Love is like a mountain, hard to climb, but once you get to the top the view is beautiful. – Daniel Monroe Tuttle

Love is not blind – It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less. – Will Moss

Love isn’t blind; it just only sees what matters. – William Curry

Fortunately, the answer is no.  Couples who have different preferences can still have a great marriage as long as there is mutual respect and trust. We hope the picture below inspire even the oddest and most incompatible couples. Enjoy!